Jump Seat Riding

Our luck was bound to run out soon. From the moment we walked into the Orlando airport and saw a sea of Brits decked out in Mickey ears and I heart Universal Studios t-shirts lining up to go back to London, I knew this wasn’t going to be as easy or as amazingly glamorous as our flight over…

After what seemed like hours of waiting in line we made it to the desk to hear the dreaded “All flights are completely overbooked” to be muttered out of the Virgin girls lips. And with this news we went on a mad dash running from the Virgin desk to the BA desk desperately trying to be squeezed onto a plane back to good ole England. After lugging our six 50 pound bags from the Virgin desk, through the food court, (which was torture because at this point I was starving and could only think about stuffing my face with a Chick- Fil-A number one with Polynesian sauce) and over to the BA check in counter about 6 times to only be confirmed that neither airline had even a single seat available on either of their planes. I was sure there was no way we would get back home tonight, so I left Andy at the desk and sat with my mom, my life’s belongings, forgot about getting back, and instead calmed myself with my much anticipated Chick-Fil-A!

After filling my belly and being able to put my concentration back on how we were to get home, instead of when and what I was going to eat, I joined Andy back at the customer service desk to be updated on our flight situation. As I walked up I saw Andy filling out paper work and was sure this was a good sign! I immediately and excitedly asked, “Did we get seats?” The answer I got was, “Well sort of… We have put in jump seat request forms and if the pilot accepts them than we have jump seats.” Hmmmmm this should be a very very interesting fight!

After the captain agreed to allow us to fly home via jump seats, we ran to our gate waited until all the screaming babies, rowdy kids, and grown adults wearing head to toe Disney paraphernalia boarded the plane. A flight attendant then escorted us onto the plane, but not after they took out ticket and with sympathetic eyes said, “Oh… jumps seats.” She led us up the magical stairs of luxury premium economy when the thought ‘this can’t be too bad’ popped into my head after remembering my experience in the realm of business class, to only be quickly wiped from my train of thought when shown out seats at the top of the stairs. I am not even sure if seats are an accurate description of what we were to be sitting in for the next 9 hours. Tucked away in a little corner at the very top of the stairs in peaceful business class are two tiny blue leather fold down seats. Most people may not even notice these two seats because they blend in with the back of the wall. As I pulled down the connected bench like seat, keeping one hand pressed down on the flimsy bench to ensure it didn’t snap back up, I managed to get myself sat down. This is when I realized I would be sitting at a ninety-degree angle on what felt like a lightly padded piece of small plywood with one of my butt cheeks hanging off the side to make room for my lover.

As the very privileged other passengers curled up into their oversized seats as they sipped on a glass of champagne the flight attendant served them before take off, Andy and I were escorted to other jump seats for our take off. I was taken to the front of the plane while Andy was taken to a fold down seat at the back. As I sat down a flight attendant asked if I had ever ridden in jump seats before, to which I nervously answered, “No.” He then flashed me a smile and said not to worry but there were a few things I needed to know before we took off. Before I could even grasp the thought that I might possibly have to do something, he was rattling off safety procedures for if the plane crashed! He quickly began to go through my long list of possible responsibilities as I tried to remember my first task of pulling the white tape before pushing open the emergency exit or maybe it was push the door then pull the tape. And the second I was able to tune back in he said, “Andy lastly don’t forget your oxygen back while you swiftly exit the passengers.” YIKES! By the time he was done with all these rules, responsibilities, and directions I decided it probably wasn’t the best time to tell him I do not react very well in high tense emergency situations! To the relief of me, and the other passengers, the plane took of as normal and I returned to my assigned jump seat.

By the time dinner was served I was thanking God I demanded we get Chick- Fil- A in the airport. As I watched the dinner tray slowly make its way down the aisle towards our tiny corner seats my mouth was watering at the dinner options they were describing to the lucky paying passengers. I had already decided I was going to have the grilled chicken with steamed green beans and buttery mashed potatoes. However, that scrumptious dinner cart rolled right past us back into the galley and we were handed a lap trey with an assortment of breakfast yogurt and crackers with the reject vegetarian dinner. After picking at my dinner, not sure if I didn’t eat it because it was bad or just too hard to hold a large trey in my lap while sliding off the almost non existent seat, I decided I would try to get some sleep. I took about two hours of wiggling, shifting, and annoying Andy for him to leave our seat and curl up on the floor. There we were for the next 5 hours; me with my legs dangling in the aisle, half my body on the seat, and my head stretched out resting on a side storage compartment while my husband curled into a little ball on the floor behind the black netting of the staff storage closet. 

An Aviation Dream

For the past two years I have been on so many airplanes I might as well have been waving my arms around to show the other passengers how to fasten their seatbelts and safely locate the emergency exits incase of a crash landing. I have gone from Florida to California to Fiji to Australia to Thailand to Western Australia back to Florida then to England, Spain, Morocco, and to and from England and Florida a few more times. And every time I take a trip it is usually the same old drill; buy a ticket, go to the airport, check in, hand over my bags, get felt up at security to insure I am not smuggling in a bottle of water, board the plane, eat some food, watch a movie, and then leave the plane to go through more security. This is about as interesting as it gets. This is until Andy and I flew standby…

It’s all a waiting game when flying standby. Nothing is definite and everything is last minute. Even thinking about it makes me so nervous I am breaking out into a small sweat. So naturally the day before our August flight (and one of the most hectic and busy traveling seasons of the year) to Florida I was a frantic, worrying, on edge, mess. We had been told that all flights to Orlando were over booked and our chances of making it on a flight were not only slim to none, but if we wanted to try to get on an overbooked flight to New York we would have to make a mad dash to Heathrow. All I wanted was to see palm trees swaying while my skin soaked up the hot Florida sunshine and I sipped on a margarita! After hearing this I had little hope that my milky white skin was going to see that sun anytime soon.

We approached the check in counter with uneasy tense smiles and said, “Hi. We are the two on standby for the 11:00 Orlando flight. Are there any seats?”  As she opened her mouth to say, “ Yes actually. There are exactly two seats on the plane. You are both really lucky,” I swear I could hear Zippity Do Da playing in the background. Andy and I just about skipped through security and right up to the gate with the cheesiest biggest similes on our faces as if we had just won some huge grand prize. When we boarded the plane Andy was directed up those mysterious stairs, which I soon found out lead to business class, and I was pointed down the over crowded loud economy aisle filled with little kids who’s dreams of meeting Mickey mouse were about to come true.

After a couple hours of movie watching to drown out the high pitched squeaky voices of over eager kids, my curiosity got the best of me and I snuck up the stairs to see what flying the high life was all about. Oh man are we all missing out! It is spacious, serene, and so quiet you could just about hear the waves of the ocean below. I quickly found Andy’s seat and sat down in the aisle, which is about the width of three economy aisles, ignoring the snooty glares directed at my peasant self. I didn’t mind being the poor economy girl because as soon as my butt hit that floor a beautiful lady in red was handing me a glass of champagne asking what flavor Ben and Jerry’s ice cream I wanted! At that moment I had died and gone to aviation heaven! Sitting on the floor in business class was better than having an entire row to your self in economy. This was so fabulous I didn’t know how I was going to go back to Disney daycare downstairs! But as soon as that thought entered my head the man sitting next to Andy stood up and excused himself from the two-seat row. As I got off the floor to let him by, he told me to take his seat and be with my husband. My jaw dropped as I nervously laughed and said, “That is so nice of you but I can’t take your seat. Thank you so so much though.” He stared me straight in the eyes and said, “You are newlyweds and should be sitting together. Take my seat and tell me what seat you are in.” I couldn’t even believe what I was hearing! I looked from this man to Andy and back at him unsure of what to do or say. All I could do was put on my anxious smile and squeeze out a few nervous giggles. That’s when he said, “Tell me what seat you are in so I am not walking around the plane aimlessly looking for where to sit. I will be back up here at the end of the flight.”

After sitting down in my new oversized seat, as if the flight couldn’t get any better, the flight attendant brought us a bottle of champagne and chocolates on behalf of the staff as a wedding gift and their congratulations! I was in total bliss for the next 5 hours as we flew over the Atlantic and I sipped on champagne, ate fresh fruit, and disturbed the peaceful atmosphere by talking Andy’s ear off!