Publix... Where shopping was always a pleasure

Oh how I miss the days of shopping at my always clean, always welcoming grocery store Publix, “where shopping is a pleasure”. I reminisce on the days when I would pull my big American car into the oversized parking space as I strolled to the entrance of my favorite southern grocery chain. I loved to grab my buggy and make my way through the fragrant deli with pumpkin cookies at Halloween, pecan pies at thanksgiving, and a little girl in pigtails eating her free sugar cookie given to her by the smiley baker. I would then stroll over to the deli sub counter and order my freshly sliced pepper turkey sub with submarine sandwich oil on a fresh baked, that morning, French bread baguette. After I had my delicious sub made, which would be devoured for lunch later, I would go up and down every aisle trying to decide what crackers, chips, soda, and ice cream I wanted from the abundance of choice stacked for what seemed like miles on the shelves in front of me. Once I filled my perfect green buggy to the top, I would go to the check out and have my items scanned through by the always friendly checkout girl as the young bag boy would ask “paper or plastic” as he bagged my tasty groceries and put them back in the buggy for me. When I paid and was ready to go the young gentleman would ask if I needed help taking my bags out to the car. This is southern hospitality at its best. And every trip I made to Publix was a pleasure!

Now I shop in the UK. On my day off I got into my car and made my way to the “shop” to do our weekly grocery shopping. As I got to the store in the pouring rain, I pulled into a very, very small and very, very tight parking space. I weaseled my way out of the car and made my way to the pay and display ticket machine to pay for parking. As I went to pay my 1-pound and 50 pence, a huge sign was taped to the front saying “no new coins” (new meaning they have been in circulation for longer than I have lived in the UK). I rummaged through my wallet and what did I have… only new coins. So back to my car I went where I proceeded to go to another store. When I got the next store,a different chain than the other, and paid 1-pound 60 pence of new coins in their machine, I walked into the entrance, turned to grab a buggy, only to find I needed a 1-pound coin to use it! Since all my money went to paying for parking, I was SOL (shit out of luck). There was no way I would be able to carry a weeks worth of groceries in my arms. I was back on the road, wet, irritated and having to drive miles and miles out of my way to the one store I know you do not have to pay to park your car.

When I finally got to yet another grocer, I park my car and stomp to the entrance like a PMS-ing 16 year old girl cursing the UK and longing for the days when “shopping is a pleasure”. As soon as I think I can’t take any more I reach for a shopping cart only to find that even at this store, princess Kate’s favorite grocery shop, a store in the middle of nowhere, with no threat of bums stealing carts, I have to put in a 1-pound coin and pay for a shopping “trolley”! I was on the verge of having a grocery shopping nervous breakdown. Instead, I pulled it together, grabbed a tiny rusting basket, and attempted to cram it with my week’s worth of shopping. Just as I was finishing filling my little basket, already over flowing with eggs, bead, milk and chicken, I reached toward a shelf for an already made pizza, knocked into a nearby garlic bread display, sending pizza and bread flying into the air and falling onto the floor taking half my basket contents with it. On the brink of tears I get down to pick up all the things scattered on the floor when a middle aged woman pushes her cart right up to my bent down body, steps over me, my basket and all the bread I am attempting to pick up, grabs a pizza off the shelf, rolls her eyes at me, takes her cart, and rolls away. All I wanted to do was run after her, steal her buggy and throw her groceries all over the store, at her, and all the unhelpful staff like crazed mad women. But instead I just longed for Publix and good ole southern hospitality, my teenage pimply face gentleman bag boy, and their thanksgiving commercials that touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes.  This Floridian ain’t in the south anymore and she must remember to keep a handful of loose change in her car or she will have to face UK grocery stores, where shopping it is not a pleasure.