A Hammam For Two Please!

The best advice I could give to Moroccan travelers is while in Morocco live like a rich Moroccan! After a few days of trekking through the streets of Baghdad, I mean Marrakech, we (by we I especially mean me) needed a break from the chaotic mess surrounding us and what better way to do this than with a little bit of pampering. After a stressful day in the market souks, the owner of our hotel recommended we have a traditional Moroccan day at a fancy spa. My eyes immediately lit up and I just about screamed, “Yes!! Yes!! Call and book us in for tomorrow!” That night I researched about as much as I could in my little travel book about a traditional Moroccan massage. According to the book, it was tradition for the women to be completely naked and men to keep on only their underwear, as they have their bodies rubbed down with aragan oil and Rhassoul clay. I had no idea what to expect, since I had no idea what these two things were, but I couldn’t wait!! I was ready to strip down to my birthday suit to be massaged and relaxed!!

On the way to the spa, which the hotel owners raved about and even our book said was one of the best in Marrakech, I was sure we were given wrong directions. It seemed we had somehow found an area that smelled even worse than the square and every other building looking like an image you see on CNN war coverage. It just didn’t seem the type of place one should walk without a weapon, much less the type of place a spa would be. But there amongst the rubble was the little slice of heaven, Bain de Marrakech. We walked into this room richly decorated in huge tan plush couches with rays of light sparkling around the room from the copper plated lanterns mounted on the walls, as we were greeted by a women who should be on the cover of next years Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition! I just couldn’t contain myself! I ran up to the reception desk and said, “ Mr. and Mrs. Murdoch for the traditional Moroccan Hamas at 1 please!!” The beautiful women just stared at me as if I was crazy. I looked over at my husband Andy, who was giggling and also looking at me as if I was a complete nut case, and said, “It is for 1 p.m. right?” To which the lady responded, “Yes. Please have a seat and someone will be right with you.” As we sat down I looked at Andy and said, “What was all that about!?! That lady looked at me like I was on crack!!” To which he responded with a huge grin across his face, “You said Hamas!!” Still confused I said, “And your point is…. that is what we are having, a traditional Moroccan Hamas!” He laughed and said, “No it is called a Hammam. Hamas is a Muslim terrorist group!!” Oops! Maybe I should pay a little bit more attention to my pronunciation, especially when visiting a Muslim country!

Now, this was my very first time ever getting a massage, or even being at a spa, so everything was new to me and even more so since we were getting a Hammam, which I wasn’t entirely sure what it entailed, except getting naked. When a woman came and got Andy and me, she showed Andy to the men’s changing room, and then me to the women’s. I was questioning if I got naked right away or if that would happen later. When she showed me in the room and to my locker I figured it was now time to strip on down and cover up with the luscious white robe she gave me. But just to make sure it was naked time I asked if I was to get completely nude. She looked at me, nodded, giggled, and showed me the motions of taking off my top. Since she couldn’t speak English, I motioned a gesture asking if I should keep my bottoms on or off. She kept laughing at me and showing me to keep the bottoms on (by pointing to her bottoms and shaking her head yes and then touching her top shaking her head no). Safe to say I was to just go topless. Fine by me! As I was changing I heard a few women, talking in god knows what language, laughing from outside the room. Then I saw one of them pop their head into the changing room and look at me, only then to hear hear more laughter! I slipped my robe on over my topless body to meet the women out in the hall and find out where to go next and if they were laughing at me. They motioned for me to follow them, all three showing me the way while still giggling under their breath, as they led me out to Andy and 5 other couples laying around a pool, NOT topless. I was so confused!! I went up to Andy and whispered, “ I don’t have a top on. They told me to take it off and then showed me out here. Should I go put it on??” Andy laughed and said, “Yes go put it on! You can’t sit out here topless!!!!” Like I knew!! I was ready to bare it all!!

After dressing myself more appropriately for a public pool, a lady came and took Andy and me off for our Hammam. At this point I really didn’t know what to expect, since I had already tried to go naked at the pool and called the massage a terrorist group. She led us through a door and into a small private hallway, which had a small almost pitch black and very hot sauna like room with two long benches on each wall. She motioned for us to take off our robes and sit down on the benches. As I took my robe off and took a step into the room, I was jerked back by the women grabbing my bathing suit top and ripping it off my body…. So now I was supposed to be topless?!? Then I went into the room, more confused than ever, when the women came in, poured a bucket of water over the two of us, and told us to lie down. I looked over at Andy and could tell we were both thinking this is amazing, but not sure what to expect next. Then about 10 minutes later two ladies came in and rubbed what had to be the arragan oils all over our body and hair. It was a thick blackish colored oil scented with mint and a few other spices I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It was invigorating! As I breathed it in, it completely cleared my nose as if I had Vick’s Vapor Rub on my body. They left the room leaving the two of us to relax with oil covering and dripping off our already sweaty bodies. They came back 10 minutes later and poured water all over of us, rinsing off the oils, followed by an entire body exfoliation. However, my exfoliation process quickly became a bit more like the traditional Moroccan experience I read about. As I was on my stomach, just about asleep from this coarse glove circling around my back, a hand takes my bathing suit bottom, yanks it off my butt, then tosses it on the floor next to my bench, and continues on with the exfoliation! I don’t think my butt has been this soft since the day I was born. She then tells me to flip over while she continued to exfoliate the rest of my bare body… All of it! For a nation that is quite modest they sure know how to let loose on a massage! After the exfoliation they put the red Rhassoul clay from head to toe and 10 minutes later rinsed it off. After being rinsed of the clay, I took a shower and finished to the women greeting me with open towels as they began to dry me off. All I kept saying is, “Ooooo! Oh, thank you! Thank you,” unsure of what else you are supposed to say when you have your arms and legs spread as someone is patting you dry. After the pat down, we were escorted into another relaxing room with lounge beds and hot mint tea waiting for us! Once we finished our tea it was off to our hour long, full body, couples massage! I was sure this is what it must feel like to have been Cleopatra!