How to Hold a Baby

Last night I officially became Aunty E! My brother Nicholas and his wife Vanessa’s little boy Hayden arrived at 8:16 weighing 8 pounds 3 ounces. He looks like the perfect chubby baby with blue squinty eyes and all 10 fingers and toes! When I saw the pictures of Hayden Andrew I couldn’t wait to be home in August to hold the newest member of the family. But as soon as I envisioned myself being handed Hayden, I had a flashback of the last time someone tried to hand me a newborn…

Last August close friends of Andy's had a beautiful baby boy. Now I must say, I have never been much of an infant lover. They are just so small and fragile and at the rate that I tend to break delicate things, babies make me incredibly nervous! I have this fear of my monster man hands breaking their teeny tiny body, especially since I am about as gentle as the Incredible Hulk. However, after a few weeks of the delivery of their son, Andy and I made a visit to meet the little guy. The entire car ride over I was just praying I wouldn’t have to hold him. I wouldn’t have the slightest idea what to do with him or how to hold him or what to say to him, if even talk to him at all since he can't answer back. On top of this it was the first time I was meeting the parents who are good friends of Andy.

When we got to their house the baby was immediately given to Andy to hold. About 30 minutes went by and I was thanking God! I assumed I was in the clear from baby holding duty, as I just sat on the couch and admired his pretty little face from afar. Right at this moment I hear, “Andy, don’t hog him, give Elyse a turn to hold him!” Andy shot me a terrified look which basically said, “Hmmm I am not sure if this is a good idea” while I began panicking. I didn’t even know how to pick him up and take him from Andy. I was sure I would probably drop him on the floor and I am pretty sure the same thought was going through Andy’s head because he got up and placed the little guy right in my arms as I continued to stay sitting on the couch.

Everything seemed to be going ok. The baby continued sleeping not making a noise or moving an inch and I was beginning to think this wasn’t so bad after all. That is until, after a few minutes of holding him, he seemed to get extremely hot. In my head I was really beginning to panic, wondering if this was normal for a baby to be so hot. I mean it was burning. My arm was beginning to sweat from the heat it was letting off. I couldn’t help but think the thing was over heating! I mean, can a baby over heat?? I had no idea and it definitely seemed to be! The panic must have shown on my face because Andy’s friend got up to relieve me of baby holding. That is when I made the catastrophic infant mistake... As I put my hands under his tiny little arms and lifted him to his Dad, the entire room shouted in unison, ”Hold his head!!!” What??? How?? And where was the head going to go? Was it going to pop off and roll across the floor?? I had no idea what to do. I definitely wasn’t going to grab him by the head and hand him over, with his little head clamped in my shovel hands as the rest of his tiny body dangled, so as quickly as I could, I passed him over to his parents praying the head didn’t go flying off!

On the way home I asked Andy what all this holding the head stuff meant. He explained the neck wasn’t strong enough to hold the head up on its own. Who knew! All I can say is I think I will be opting to just pet my new little nephew!